Overcoming FOBO: How to Stop Wasting Time on Low-Stakes Decisions

Lessons Learned from Life on the Road in Our Airstream and the Pitfalls of Over-Researching Campgrounds

✍🏻 + 📸: Meredyth Mustafa-Julock, CEO of Coach Jennie

As someone who's constantly on the move, my wife and CEO, Meredyth, and I have learned a thing or two about splitting responsibilities based on our strengths and preferences. For instance, when we're towing our Airstream on long trips, I take on the bulk of the driving because, let's be honest, I love it more than she does. Meanwhile, Meredyth's got an amazing knack for navigation, thanks to her clear and concise directions.

When it's my turn to guide us, I'm more likely to say things like "yeah, keep going, umm, yeah, that way-ish." Not exactly helpful, I know.

When it comes to our coaching business, I'm the big picture thinker with lofty goals and ideas, while Meredyth's the one who excels at day-to-day operations and all the details that go along with them. She's got systems for her systems, y’all! Take our planning process, for example. I love poring over maps and circling all the places I want to visit, while Meredyth takes my scribbly map and sets to work finding campgrounds along the way where we can rest up for the night.

I love the maps. Meredyth loves the research. It’s a great marriage that way.

Buuuuuuut, sometimes her love of research bites her in the toosh.

You see, when she starts looking up all the potential campgrounds in a particular place, she tends to fall way, way, waaaaaay down a rabbit hole.

Instead of simply booking the place that looks pretty convenient and has all of the amenities that we need,

(y’know, like I would do),

Meredyth keeps on looking up other campgrounds…

(y’know, just in case).

Why? Because Meredyth has some serious FOBO.

What the what is FOBO?

Now just about everybody’s heard of the term FOMO or the fear of missing out. What I didn’t know is that the same dude who coined that phrase, Patrick McGinnis, he also coined a phrase called FOBO: the Fear of Better Options.

If you have FOBO yourself, you probably just felt like a little stabbing pain in your chest after reading the phrase fear of better options. I don’t even need to elaborate for you, but I will just in case.

Basically, if you've got FOBO, you feel like you need to explore every single possible option before making a decision. It's a form of perfectionism that can plague even the most impatiently ambitious among us. And let me tell you, it can be a real time-suck.

Now you might be thinking: what’s the harm? Isn’t it good to explore your options before making a decision? Isn’t that what smart and responsible people do?

(Again, I’m married to somebody brimming with FOBO, so I can kind of read your mind on this one.)

Well, as McGinnis explains in his TED Talk, it all depends on the stakes of the decision in front of you.

Check the stakes

Case in point: Meredyth wants to make sure that we have a great stay at whatever place we end up staying. Honestly, our list of requirements for a great campsite are pretty basic.

• Is it safe?

• Does it have power? Water? Sewer?

• Is the internet reasonably reliable?

• Will our cellular plan work pretty well there?

• And is there enough room to park our Tundra at night by the campsite?

Yep. That’s pretty much all we need. And yet, she’s over here creating complicated Notion boards of all the different campgrounds’ amenities, contrasting their pools and hot tubs and activities, most of which we rarely take advantage of during our visits.

But Meredyth’s strength in research means that she is prewired to fall down these rabbit holes of unnecessary over research and analysis.

And the whole reason that she’s falling down these rabbit holes in the first place is because she secretly believes that the perfect campsite might be just one more Google search away, even if she has 15 really great options.

Again, I would’ve picked the first one.

In her mind, there might be a 16th option that she just hasn’t discovered yet.

And that fear that there might be a better option that she doesn’t know about is costing her something:

TIME! 

And lots of it.

(By the way, I totally have Meredyth’s permission to poke fun at her research rabbit hole tendencies for the purposes of this article— just in case you’re worried about my marriage right now.)

The reason that this is really a problem is that all of this time that she’s spending is on a relatively low stakes decision, one that doesn’t matter all that much.

There’s a massive difference between choosing a place to park the Airstream for one week while we’re in Maine and, say, choosing a place to live when you’re buying your first house. The stakes are dramatically different.

But if you experience FOBO on the regular, you probably don’t even realize that you are looking at these low stakes decisions with the same fervor that you would a high stakes decision.

I see this mistake all the time, specifically with entrepreneurs and freelancers I coach. Every decision is treated with that same level of gravitas, even things as small as pricing a service or choosing a logo font.

How many times have you held yourself back from making a decision because you’re worried there might be some better possibility that you haven’t found underneath a rock somewhere?

What to do about it

The good news is that the solution to your FOBO tendencies is pretty straightforward. Not necessarily easy, mind you, but straightforward.

First, you simply need to become aware of your FOBO tendencies. If you’re researching and then researching and still researching and not making any choices, pause and catch yourself, and then ask yourself, is this a low stakes decision or a high stakes decision?

If it’s a high stakes decision, like say the next city you wanna relocate to and start your life over again, And then by all means, take your time. Do some more research and really look at your options. Really explore the possibilities.

But if it’s low stakes, like say where should we have brunch this Sunday, by all means just pick two restaurant options and flip a coin.

By simply recognizing that it’s low stakes, it can help you put a cap on the number of possibilities you’re going to explore and then make a choice. And then next Sunday, you can go to brunch again.

In entrepreneurship, a high stakes decision might be what business model do I want to adopt for my business. That is a pretty big deal. Doing a little bit of research on options makes a lot of sense.

But a low stakes decision might be which forum tool to include in your new membership. It’s really not that big a deal if you go with Facebook groups or Mighty Networks or Circle or, or, or. You can decide and change your mind about this as often as you want. Don’t let all of those options keep you from starting your new membership.

Start recognizing your FOBO and shorten the amount of time that you perseverate between all of the different options, looking for the possibility of a better option out there and just make a choice.

Bottom line

Now I have to give her some credit. Meredyth has been working really hard on her FOBO tendencies, specifically when it comes to finding these campsites. Now when she finds a campground that meets all of our needs and is reasonably easy to get to from the highway that we’re driving on, she just books it and moves on with her day. And now we have all of that time back to devote to things that matter more.

Overcoming FOBO is all about recognizing when your desire for "better" options is holding you back from making any decision at all. Whether it's choosing a campsite or pricing your services as an entrepreneur, remember to check the stakes and simplify your options when possible. With a little awareness and some smart decision-making, you'll be well on your way to a more productive, stress-free life.

Now it’s your turn. Push yourself away from the Google machine the next time you find yourself swirling in a panic of FOBO on a low stakes decision and shorten the amount of time you allow yourself in the rabbit hole.